vaccines

they scare me, a lot, like really, really a lot. I actually want to crawl in a hole so that I don't have to deal with anyone (like doctors) telling me how good they are. I actually think this will keep me awake tonight. At least I got some more research done though, that's good. Lets hope I don't have nightmares about this!

Julie

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The cats are driving me insane. Boy I miss kitty naptime!

Getting the hang of it

I'm starting to not feel totally behind and out of it. It's nice to not feel totally inept at being a wife and mother. Paul and I are getting a little rhythm going and I'm getting used to doing everything with one hand! I am completely amazed at how he grows and changes everyday, it sure does happen fast!

Julie

more pictures

If you check back, there are more pics added. there's also some of our pets, if you want to see them.Julie

Paul
http://s108.photobucket.com/albums/n3/seekingmyplace/Paul/

Pets
http://s108.photobucket.com/albums/n3/seekingmyplace/Pets/

being a mom

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. The transition to mother was super easy. I mean, it is frustrating at times and very hard also at times, but it's natural. There was no extra effort involved in 'learning' to do what I needed to do to care for Paul, it just came. I think I was thinking it would be more like becoming a wife, there was a lot more learning involved with that. Not so much instinct. I've been amazed at how instinctive being a mom is. If I let go of my control issues ( like needing the house spotless - need to give up on that one!), my care for him comes totally from some place that I can't even describe.

I will say that right now I feel like the stereotypical stay at home mom. Haven't showered in days, didn't get dressed, messy hair. I swear I will get a shower someday, I know it'll happen! Even if I have to take a walk in the rain! Of course, had I known he'd sleep this long, I sure would have taken the chance tonight.

Okay, back to the baby.

Julie

Paul

I haven't sent a real post about him yet. He's adorable of course, coming from Mom. He's a good eater! I think he looks like both of us, though the general trend is about 50% both ways in regards to others opinion. He's not super fussy, only cries when he needs something. I can't wait to get to post more pictures. I know we have some super cute ones of him on the film waiting to be developed. Maybe I'll get that done tomorrow, give me something to do and really look forward too :), plus then I can put up more pictures.

I'm doing okay too, still have a ways to go on the recovery front though. Can't bend much or lift much at all. Most of my strength must have been in my abs because I'm sure weak lately! I sure hope I don't have to have the c-section next time. The recovery is so hard, I can't imagine it with a new baby and a toddler! Can't wait for the annulment to be done so we can have those other babies! :)

I will say that it can be a little frustrating, but I think that's more due to getting used to a new normal. There is also some tiredness and also some loneliness that add to the frustration. But mostly I enjoy watching him.

Paul is here

Sorry it's taken me so long to get a post here. He was born on March 14th at 4:21 am, weighting 8 lbs. 8 ounces and 20 inches long.

Here are links to so pictures of him.
Pics my parents took
http://s108.photobucket.com/albums/n3/seekingmyplace/Paul/

baby pictures from hospital
http://www.growingfamily.com/webnursery/babypage_view.asp?URLID=1W4N6P8T2X

Julie