Thursday, December 08, 2011

Beginning of a new era

Through the awful events of the summer, some good has some, many acts of kindness have been shown and shared with us, it is overwhelming at times. Also, a great deal of personal growth, which might not make sense, but yes, I grew up a lot!

In dealing with all this, and the mental struggles, I realized ,the major problem of the last 2 decades of my life has centered around depression. I know some people knew this, but I didn't. I thought it was just 'a rough patch', or 'I'm just tired'. It was really the anger that gave it away for me. I could not deny that I was angry. Then I realized that I was angry, a lot and had been for a long time. In time I saw all the other signs that have been screaming at me for years, but had pushed them aside.

So today I had a doctor's appointment. Medicine prescribed (and picked up, I can't believe I let myself go this long for $20 a month! all this time I kept saying we couldn't afford it since I don't have medical insurance!). I am very hopeful. I know nothing is foolproof, and yes bad days will happen, but the undercurrent in my life will not be sadness.

It is hard to admit, and that is some of why I am writing this. Some many people have tried to get me to see, and I was blind. So you were right, I am glad I finally see.

Sunday, December 04, 2011


I hate when I use my abs in a way that makes me feel it in my scar. It makes me sad. I don't like that reminder.

I also don't like having to come up with a title for a post that really doesn't need a title! :)