Tuesday, March 24, 2009


I just can't seem to get motivated at all. I'm just worn out. In the last 6 weeks, Paul's been sick, Chip had surgery, Paul was sick again and the whole worry over a miscarriage. I just need a break, bad, and a chance to clean with NO ONE in the house, so I can actually, you know, clean. So behind and out of whack. Keep waiting for normal to come back so I can function better. Need to get motivated, badly.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

so done

I'm so done with Paul being sick. How can he get sick again? Seriously, we don't go ANYWHERE, he has no contact with other kids. How is this possible? I'm so, so tired of this. It's been almost a month, and we had one good week. I want to sleep, I want to clean my house, I want to not have to change diarrhea diapers every hour, including over night. I don't even know what he has. No fever, no tummy ache, nothing, just grouchy child with major bowel issues.

I'm also done with him begging for daddy all the time. What the hell am I suppose to do about that? I can't make him appear when he's at work, I can't make him wake up when he's sleeping. Maybe it's a sick think, I don't know, it's just frustrating. I need a freaking break for 5 minutes. Add in the whole miscarriage thing and I'm just fried.



Things are rather blah here right now. Rough and hard and frustrating. Just kind of want to know what's going on. Don't really want to get into details, as I'm still trying to have hope, and maybe even fool myself a bit that I'm not going to have to deal with this again. Yuck. So good thoughts and prayers please. Will update on this when I know for certain what is happening.

In other news, I'm ready for a nap. Can't wait for Paul to want to sleep. Was thinking Chip might actually get up so Paul could see him, not looking so. Paul's really been miserable since daddy had surgery. He just wants his daddy back. All day I listen to him begging and asking. Ready for a break!


Monday, March 16, 2009

water filters

I LOVE our water filter. It is wonderful. We live in 'Chlorine is good for you so lets put a ton in the waterville'. And we are right next to the storage tank, so the water smells and tastes like a pool. We got a Brita water filter for the sink, and wow, you'd never know we had undrinkable water. I was reminded of how wonderful this little filter was while at my parents yesterday, wow, how quickly one forgets that horrid taste!

Paul's second birthday

Yesterday was Paul's second birthday. I can't believe he's two! It seems so fast and also like he has always been here.

Today I made him a cake (from scratch too!) It was good :) We had his little party at my parents house. Paul always loves going there, so he had fun :). I was a little upset. My sister and family came with McDonald's (my mom was making lunch - I do understand it was late for lunch, 1pm, so needing to get my nephew something to tide him over). I think it put my mom in a bad mood. Also we seemed rushed. I hate that. Paul only turns 2 once! Then they left as soon as everything was done, super fast. I guess I should have picked a better time, but Chip wanted to be there and he works at 5, so 1 it was. Anyhow, all little things, and trying to remember that Paul had a good time, I think he would have loved to stay longer. Mom wasn't feeling well, and Paul was really needing to sleep.

Other than that, I have been thinking about some of the things I remember about him when he was itty bitty. Things I'll probably forget if I don't write them down.

My favorite is that from the time he was just a few weeks old, he would always smile when he unlatched and finally fell into sleep. It was the signal that I could get up with out him getting upset. It was so cute though :). The other night, he laughed in his sleep, I wish I knew what he dreamed about.

I need to think of more before they get forgotten.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

surgery day

Today was Chip's surgery. It was same day/outpatient surgery. We are home now. It went pretty well, he's in pain, but has meds :). We'll see how tomorrow goes. So far, Paul's been great, hasn't jumped on him at all, which was a big worry. But I have been amazed anytime I get crazy worried about Paul and some situation, I am always proved wrong, which is good, in this case.

For a little background for those who may be newer to reading, we don't watch tv here, we have a dvd player, and watch maybe 5 dvd's over and over again :) Robinhood men in tights being Paul's favorite :) For Richer or Poorer being mine, and the King of the Hill being Chip's. Anyhow, of course, they had tv on in the waiting area. I was just so amazed how unused to it I was. It was just too much and very much a reminder of why I do not like tv. The commercials were awful! yucko! Just glad we don't have to deal with that at home :).

Paul is currently eating chicken that he is dipping in a mix of bbq sauce and ranch dressing. Apparently he thinks that tastes good?? :)

Oh, and his absolute cutes word yet is 'sprinkle'. I wish I could figure how to spell it how he says it, but it is so cute!


Monday, March 09, 2009

quick catch up post

The last month has been crazy. Can't believe it's been a month!

First we found out that one of our cats has feline leukemia. At first they said she'd not last a week. We went to a different vet, got stronger antibiotics and she's doing much better. We just need to get her to gain some weight. So, yes, she won't live as long as the others, but I think getting her infection in check really helped her a LOT.

Then we found out that I'm pregnant, which is great news for us, but it's also an odd place to be since we are still waiting on the verdict from Chip's annulment. We are happy though.

Paul was sick for over a week, more like a week and 5 days. Some kind of virus. He has NEVER been sick like that before. I am so glad to have my baby back, it was so sad to see him just not be him, he was miserable!