Monday, May 26, 2008

interesting dream

Last night I had a very telling dream, well telling of my former life, not so much at all now.

I was in college for a LONG time, just couldn't decide what I wanted to do, and honestly I hated change, so didn't have a clue at all what I would do after. I always thought you went to college to get married, so I was kind of holding out for that. Silly yes, but anyhow.

Toward the end of college, I became Catholic, which was a good thing, very good! I met a lot of good people and became part of the campus Catholic group. They were all young. I also spent a lot of time going to visit other friends in all parts of the state.

My dream was about how I was trying so hard to be something I wasn't, mainly, trying to be young and cool and hip. I was not young at all! Old for college, and hip and cool will never ever describe me! What is funny is that I find myself at times longing for those carefree days. A lot actually. But from that dream I also realized that during that time I was also running away from reality a lot. That's why I went so many places (besides, liking the people I went to see). It was a way to get away from the misery that I had put on myself.

I don't seem to have that issue a lot now. I do like escaping from the mundane life on occasion, but reality is still reality, that doesn't change. Maybe I have figured out what I want and what I'm comfortable with. I have tried to take more control over my own life lately, rather than just floating. I think that makes a difference.

Anyhow, this was suppose to be way deeper, but the thoughts have left me! Mostly I just found it so interesting the revelation that dream opened up for me. It was interesting to see how I have changed from then to now.


Sunday, May 25, 2008


Today is SO hot. I don't think it'd be so bad if it wasn't also 100% humidity. Or if we had AC in the house and my car! :) I just can't wait for the sun to go down. Hope everyone else is staying cool.


up early

It is odd for me to be up this early! Paul woke up when Chip left for work and has been happily playing ever since (almost and hour!). I'm kind of surprised myself!

He just crawled into the cat crate, and now has figured out how to get on top so he can see the turtle. His ability to climb never ceases to amaze me! He is all toddler boy lately!

On the subject of Paul, he is also talking up a storm. He now points and asks 'what' to everything. He wants to know what everything is, too cute!

I think waking up early has hit him, so I'll put a couple pictures in here and then go.This is Paul about a month ago. You can't see it in his hand, but he has the poker from the wood stove, you can see the ask all over his legs! He LOVES that thing and actually slept with it that night.

I just took this to put on here to go with the cat carrier story. He is standing on top of it, and that's the turtle's cage, and of course, there's a cats tail (Moonshine) hanging down too. :) He was very happy to be up there. Okay, Off to get him to sleep again, he's SO ready! :)


Monday, May 05, 2008

bunch o stuff

Lots going on here! Paul is starting to talk. He says plane, bird, cat and tree. LOVES things that are in the sky!

I know some really enjoyed the joy thing. I'm still working on that. Seeing the positive in things as much as I can. I still generally react at first with negative but can at least point out a few positive things. Prayer has helped, that and trusting God. Or at least trying too!

Also have resigned myself to a few things that I had been fighting and using as excuses. This has really helped. It may sound defeatist but I don't feel that way. I see it as excepting the situation for what it is. Like we don't have a kitchen, but we do have a hot plate and a toaster oven. So just making due with what I have and not being pissy because I can't make 'real' meals.

We were suppose to go to CT this month to work on his dad's house, but work didn't give Chip the time off. Was also going to be used to get the new siding up. So we'll see how that goes! Chip did get the lawn mower and weed eater working. The yard is beautiful! Never thought I'd ever have a yard that was mine, of course this isn't really mine, we still have to rent the lot. That's another thing I've come to terms with. We don't like it here much at all (the trailer park), but we are going to be here for a few more years. Can't save any money until the garnishment is gone (a year left) and then it'll take a year to two to save up enough to move the trailer to OUR land, where ever that may be! So I'm trying to find the good in being here, we are making the yard nice and accepting that this is it for us, as sad as that may make us.

I'll try to get pictures of the yard tomorrow. I need to take a few before pictures anyway so we can see what we have done to the trailer.

I should go, I don't want to have to cut it short if Paul wakes. He's either got allergies or a cold, so he's not been sleeping well at all. I have seasonal allergies, so it would kind of make sense for him to have them. Have ho idea where he'd have gotten a cold!