Thursday, October 23, 2008


Today we took a very, very sick kitty to the vet. She had found of rat poison that the previous owners had under the cabinets here. We thought we had gotten it all. She is still at the vet, but it doesn't look good at all.

So if you happen to read this, please pray she is okay, and that none of our other cats found some too.

So much sadness here lately.


Monday, October 20, 2008

New Day

So far today has been pleasant. I woke up feeling mostly rested :). The cats are enjoying being unlocked up (they cause a lot of trouble at night, so we keep them in a room overnight). Paul is being a sleepy head and I got done all the things I absolutely have to do each day, except vacuum, but I'll do that when Paul gets up. Everything else I get done today is just extra :). I love that feeling.

I also thought I'd update on my last post. After posting I caught an old friend on facebook, and she was the exact person I needed to talk with. It was a good conversation and a few things came out that I hadn't really thought of. Still trying to wrap my head about them, but, it's good. Anyhow, out of that conversation, I realized how void of prayer my life is, and how much more able to handle things I am when I actually take the time to pray. So I decided to start saying a Rosary again daily. It's a very small step, but it helps in so many ways. Gets me closer to my faith, helps me fall asleep, and just feel better in general.

Well, I think that'll be all for now, I think I hear Paul's little feet :)


Saturday, October 18, 2008

can't sleep

Hoping writing out a few things will help me get to sleep. So many things on my mind, I just can't relax to fall asleep. Don't think I'll go into details, that would be way too long a post! estate stuff, house stuff, baby stuff, cat stuff, and money, mostly money. Also living in the past, need to stop that. I really need to just except things for what they are and stop trying to change everything and make excuses. All it does is become this huge self perpetuating downward spiral. The past is gone, I am here, now.

I think really, I just need to sleep. I need to figure out a way to actually get sleep. This has nothing to do with Paul, I, simply can not sleep, haven't been able to for several weeks. I think with sleep, I'd handle things better, but then again, that's also justifying how things are now. Deal with the lack of sleep rather than make excuses for it. Or use it as an excuse. I think at the bottom of all this is a very simple truth, that many people have pointed out to me, I don't know how to be happy. I'm all complaints and excuses. I can't just accept things as what they are, always having to change them. Such a miserable way to live.

Okay, I think that may have helped, at least I'll have something more positive to think about while laying in bed, how to be happy. What small step can I make tomorrow to move in the right direction? Definitely something to ponder. Just have to remind myself that I CAN take small baby steps, I don't have to tackle it all at once. I'll try to write what my small step is. I sure need to remember to keep it a small one.


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

dreary day

It is quite a dreary day today. Second day in a row. And it's raining. Paul went to bed last night at 5:30, woke up at about 7:45. Wish I had known that his nap was actually down for the day, that would have been a NICE sleep! :)

Anyhow, back to the dreary day. I hate them, well when there are two in a row anyway. Have a way of making one forlorn and melancholy. It is one thing I do not like about spring and fall, too much dreary days. I had planned on a nice walk to town today. I guess it is only 9, it could get better, must check the weather.

In non dreary news, Paul is sitting so cute on the couch eating his corn cereal, it's incredibly cute. I will try to take a picture, but he tends to get excited at the site of the camera and yell 'ki kis' because he wants to see the pictures of the cats.

Okay, didn't go well, jumped up and ran to me to see the 'ki kis'

So good morning from Paul and I, maybe it'll stop raining???


Sunday, October 12, 2008

plumbing and other vents

So we moved to a new place so we'd have nice plumbing. It's been nothing but a headache. Everything leaks (the place was empty for a LONG time, so all the valves are cracked). Everytime we try something new (today hooked up the washer) it's something else we have to replace. Just frustrating.

I'm also very, very tired, all the time. I haven't slept well in weeks (I think it's a little over a month). I can handle a few days a week with Paul waking up a lot, and getting little or spotty sleep, but it's wearing me down being so tired. I fall asleep mostly fine, but I wake up so early and can't get back to sleep. Very annoying. If I get up then Paul normally will wake up and then not only am I tired, but I have a cranky baby too, not a good combination. Need to find something to help me sleep better or more restfully. I think that's the key, having more restful sleep.



I am now there, I don't really know how to use it, but I had heard many people mention it, so signed up.

And Jennifer, if you see this post, how crazy is it that there's a thing online called Twitter!??


Sunday, October 05, 2008

a few pictures

Paul sleeping his favorite way, like a little frog, even tucks his arms under his belly! And of course, you can see Sleepy time Dog there, a must for eating and sleeping :)

Paulie Antics

There a many joys in being around a toddler, and of course some things are hard (like the fact that they now have an opinion, and WANTS rather than just needs like an infant). But watching them learn and explore is just amazing.

Paul loves to explore and find anyway he can to climb, open, dismantle whatever he finds. Like for example, just as I'm writing this, he has found the missing burner elements for the electric stove we just got yesterday. How I don't know, but he just brought it to me and left it sitting next to me. I think he's off to grab another.

He also likes to push chairs or benches to the window to look out or the light switches to play with them (we didn't have switches before, so he is LOVING them). It's just so neat to see what he is capable of figuring out, all on his own, no prompting or guiding from us.


Friday, October 03, 2008

Now for some happiness

I couldn't post good things about Paul in a sad post about Meow, just didn't seem right, to either one of them!

Paul is pretty amazing. I know I say that a lot, but he is. He is learning new words daily, sometimes several words in a day. It's so neat to see him learning and discovering his world.

We are also almost totally into our new house, which is very nice. Last night we got to take hot showers, in our OWN house for the first time in over a year, actually it's been a year and a few months. It was nice. No more cold showers! Yay for water heaters!

Okay, should go see what Paul's into, I hear noise, but can't figure out what he's into.


Missing Meow

I miss that cat more than I can really say. She was special. Outside is still so lonely and sad. I think going away for a week just stopped the grieving process for me, and now I'm picking up right were I left off.

Anyhow, orange girl kitties must just have something very special added, they always find us and leave us too soon.