Monday, January 28, 2008


Wow, oh my goodness it is windy. I'm not talking a little wind here, this is tear pieces off your house wind. We had a piece of wall come off this morning and every time the wind picks up it lifts the porch up. The whole trailer moves, its freaky. Hope it ends soon!


4:30 am

Reasons Paul is up at 4:30 am.

1. it's crazy windy~30 MPH ~ so everything on the trailer is banging, loudly.
2. sees that daddy is home, Yay daddy
3. the wind/banging makes the cats crazy, so an slightly woken baby sees cats playing and gets excited.
4. Paul LOVES the cats
5. Paul sees daddy watching the dvd player
6. He wants dvd player because he has not been allowed to chew on it yet and flashy things are on it.
7. Mommy gives up and gets up to let Paul play for a few minutes.

So here I am, so, so, so tired. Going to try to get him back down in a few minutes. The cats has calmed and some of the pieces of things that were banging must have wiggled into non banging places! Paul never wakes up like this at night, he just rouses to nurse, not really awake. And of course tomorrow we actually have to leave the house earlier than normal, perfect timing!

Too cute, he just took a ball from the cats and is giggling at them. :)

Saturday, January 26, 2008


I have been so tired lately. It's really hit me like a brick today. This week has been so hard and emotionally exhausting. And Paul has decided that naps aren't good, or that I have to nap with him, which I'd LOVE to do, but I have to get things done too. I miss the days of three naps, I actually got to take one with him.

He has been taking steps, a few at a time. I don't know when he'd be officially a toddler, but I'm guessing we are getting close.

I think I'm going to keep this short. Maybe eating will wake me up! Also need to get a few pieces of wood for the fire.


Sunday, January 20, 2008


mr boom boom has had his stupid ghetto thumping music on ALL day, and I mean since about 8 am.

Paul WON"T sleep. Probably because of the stupid ghetto thumping music.

I am trying to get the pictures from the camera onto the computer and get them to a mailable size. I can NOT at all find any program that will make them smaller. On MY computer with died I had windows picture editor thingy and it would let you make them smaller (not just cropping, but you could save them smaller). Nothing will work. So have 200 HUGE files that I can't mail and they won't fit on a cd because they are too big (well they'd fit on lots of cd's but I only have like two). Why can't it just work, why.

I'm hungry, how the hell am I going to cook? Paul's screaming, we can only use the woodstove, can't do that and hold a baby, kind of dangerous.

I just heard gunshots, what the hell, did I move to the freaking ghetto or what?


My rolly polly baby

A random Paul update.

My baby is growing out of his baby pudge already. I am very sad about this, moreso than I should be. He is losing his rolls on his arms and legs. I miss my pudgy little boy, he's growing to look very toddler like. He's even losing his cute cheeks. I think I still feel like I missed out on his babyhood because of the PPD so all I really remember is the time from like 4 months or so, and now that remnant is gone, makes me sad. It goes so fast!

I measured him the other day 28 inches tall, I can't believe it! He's still in the 24 month size, just finally starting to fit into the legs and arms, kind of. :)

I think he's been trying to say 'cat' we'll see as time goes. It makes sense, we have 6 :).


Saturday, January 19, 2008

mr boom boom

This is getting so old. I just don't know what to do. Turn down the stupid music! I can't call the town police because we live outside city limits. If I call the county (which would be Chip since he's at work) they only have 2 deputies on at a time and to me it's a waste of their time to drive all the way out here to make them stop. Every time I try to talk to the park owner one of their family (the WHOLE family lives here in various trailers) comes over so I don't get the chance. It's every day, and growing so old.

complaint over.

Oh, mr. boom boom comes from Chip's dad. They had/have a neighbor who always played loud music and his dad called him Mr. Boom Boom.

great, music has now woke up Paul. Why are people so damn rude!!!!!!!!1


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

raining day

it's been a dreary day, blah. But on the positive side, at least it's warmer than a normal January. One of the little funnies of where we live is that each time it rains we get to find out where it's leaking! Constantly finding new places, good thing we don't have the drywall up yet, would be totally ruined! On that note, I'm off to see if I can pinpoint our most stubborn leak.


made my week

sorry for all the posts this evening, I just couldn't not share this. As those who read regularly know, we co sleep and I nurse Paul on demand, and always to sleep. Normally once he's down for the night he'll stir to nurse a few times before I'm in bed. But just now I went over and all he wanted was to cuddle up next to me. It was so sweet and innocent. They really are blessing.

It was the highlight of my week (month maybe??) and the perfect ending to a roller coster of a week. Just had to share my special little boy. Wish I had room on my camera card so I could take a pic. Okay, truly is the last post of the day. Dinner and sleep, beautiful sleep. Oh, but wait I have to find out why the ambulance came to our neighbors, Chip called to tell me he'd tell me when he got home, can't over the phone. Sounds interesting. yes, I know, gossip, gossip. It is a horrible habit we have that we are working on. We are all works in progress I keep telling myself!


end of the day

I'm waiting for my dinner to get done, so thought I'd post one last time before Chip's weekend. I'm looking forward to the next few days (he has three day weekends, works 4 on 3 off). I'm also a little nervous about it. It'll be the first real down time Chip has had since his father's death (me for that matter too). I hope it doesn't hit him all at once. We have plenty to occupy ourselves with (we have insulation still waiting to go up, can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!! it's been sitting in our shed for over a month). I just hope the down time doesn't make it all hit at once you know.

I also wanted to take the chance to thank all of those who sent prayers and good thoughts for everything to work for him (us) to get to CT for the funeral. Things NEVER ever work out smoothly for us, and this went off with out a hitch, everything just fell into place perfectly, it was a refreshing change for us. Thank you again.

I think I'll sign off now and eat my dinner and chill for a bit, or maybe just go to sleep. So very tired lately.


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

naps are the enemy

There was once a shirt we saw with this written on it, but was several sizes to big for Paul. I SO wish I could find it again because it is SO him. Naps are bad. Not that he fights them (no more so than normal fighting sleep), but he just can't be bothered to take one. Today is a no nap day. Which means cranky, crabby baby and mommy can't do ANYTHING, even pee, without screaming! Oh, I can't wait for a nice nap again, I miss those days! Now I'm just hoping he goes to sleep earlier than normal so I can at least get a few things done before I crash, of course I could actually go to sleep now, so we'll see how that goes.

He's getting a tooth, so I think that is making it worse. :) yay teeth, at least once this one comes in he'll have an even number of teeth, he's been an odd ball for a LONG time.

Oh, I measured him today, he's 28 inches tall! I could not believe it, he's looking more toddler like daily, kind of sad, I miss my plump little boy :(. They grow up so fast.


playful Paul

I'll start by saying that I am in a much better mood. I think I was just tired and stressed! Much better than I had feared ~ppd coming back.

On to Paul, to describe him now I'd say that he is extra needy but yet very independent. I know that doesn't sound possible, but it is! He'll be screaming his head off and push me away and just stare at me and scream. It's sad, sometimes I have to do a sneak attack to pick him up. :)

He's still loving to play with anything that he can get his hands on. He has started climbing, he's GOOD, I keep thinking he's going to fall, but he doesn't. Also the other day he started crawling under things, like on his belly, to get things. Oh, also he loves to drop things in the turtle cage! There is a whole stash of toys in the corner of the cage where he drops them.

In other Petersen news, we were tormented by our old landlord the other day. I seriously want to tell her she's trying to milk a dead cow, it just doesn't work, leave us alone. And really, your house was COVERED in lead paint that you didn't bother to keep up with, so the ground is also tainted with lead, yum! This is why we moved!

Oh, this is kind of funny.

At Chip's work they have this fancy tv and it never works, so he took our tv (we don't use it anymore) in and hooked it up. Somehow his coworkers thought it was funny that the new fancy tv (42 inch plasma) doesn't work but the 11 year old walmart special 19 inch was fine!

Okay, off to play with Paul, he's calling.


Sunday, January 13, 2008


We are back. There is much to be said about it, but not now. I'm in much to cruddy a mood to write about it. I don't want to sound harsh or overly dramatic, so it's better to wait.

On the note of being in a cruddy mood, I'm going to complain, which I'm trying to limit. I have been failing, but am trying again, minus this little rant here. Hoping it gets it out of my system.

Tonight has been awful. The dog woke up Paul while I was in the middle of getting a pile of wood inside (helps dry it off and who *really* wants to walk outside in the freezing morning to get wood????? - not I!). That was at about 6:30, it's not 11 and it's still out there. I want to kill the dog, who because I yelled at him, pooped on the floor. I then totally lost it with the dog and Paul. This is not good. It's not Paul's fault he got woke up.
Anyhow, he has just been a huge ball of fussy, cranky, crabby, clingy baby. He is MUCH too much like me (stubborn).
I am just so short tempered right now I don't know why or what has caused it. It's not like me, cursing all the time and yelling at Paul, not me at all. I just hope it's pms. I don't know what else would cause this (PPD coming back??? does that happen?) Anyhow, rant over. Think I'll head to bed in a bit. Have a ton to do, but just to tired and defeated to do it.

So hopefully tomorrow will be better and NO MORE complaining!


Wednesday, January 02, 2008


My father in law passed away this morning. We are grieving deeply here. We are grateful that we got to see him in Oct. but sad that he never got to hold Paul - the nurses wouldn't let him. We really wanted to get to see him again before his passing, we had no idea he had gotten so ill again. Please pray for us, and especially Chip, he is not doing well.


Tuesday, January 01, 2008

house keeper

I think I'm going to work on an ad to put in the paper as a house cleaner. We desperately need money. I just have no idea what to charge and we also don't have a phone, so that could be an issue. Okay, maybe a bad idea ! :) Lil - hey that's the first time EVER I have used that! Kay, off to do more brainstorming. How much would you pay for a house cleaner who only used natural products?? $25 a week???? I have NO clue? Oh, I'd have to learn to drive the car. Hum, maybe I need a new idea???? I'll sleep on it.


ps, the car thing. I have a truly debilitating fear of learning to drive a standard. It has become something much bigger than I can fathom and the fear is so ingrained that I'm getting nauseous thinking about it. It stems from adolescent fears relating to having NO self confidence and the fact that I KNOW I'd totally panic if I stalled, especially at a light with ANY one able to see me. The other day Chip stalled (as I know all standard drivers do from time to time - logically side tells me this), and I was a mess just thinking about what he might be thinking, and then putting myself in that position, terrified. I hope someday I'll get over it, probably when we live in the middle of no where and a totally flat place where I never have to stop, ever.
crazy irrational Julie!


boy oh boy is it cold! Our water is SO frozen. Even the toilet! I hope it gets warm soon so that I can do some laundry, and flush the toilet! Such a novel thing it is to flush a toilet. The things you take advantage of. :)

Paul is being Paul, exploring everything and playing contentedly. He's looking like he's wanting to walk, but doesn't yet trust himself. It cute you can see him contemplating it and then deciding that crawling is way better :)

Happy New Year

I hope everyone has a very wonderful new year. I know for myself I am very hopeful. I have a lot of goals and hope to get them implimented. Isn't it 30 days for form a habit?? So 30 days it is!