Friday, July 27, 2007


On a whim we decided to go camping Wednesday. We both needed to get out of the house and it's been awhile since we had gone (last year). It was fun! Got lots of pictures of Paul on his first camping trip. It was crazy hot though, way crazy hot! We did a lot though, so that was nice. It was a nice little break from normal life. We did decide, no more summer camping! Just too hot. Or rather, no more summer camping without at least a fan! We actually brought one, but forgot to bring an extension cord (if we had gotten an electric site, the electricity is far from where the tent would be). Well I am off to bed, so, so tired!


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I hate days like this

In the last two days Paul has only slept for about 18 hours, no naps at all and he doesn't want to nurse much either. Just crying and hold me, that's all. The house is a HORRID mess, I just can't stand it. He will NOT sleep, I'm going to go crazy. I yelled at him for the first time ever and told him to just go to sleep already. I feel awful. I hate these days, hate them. Add to that, that we haven't been able to fix the computer at all and the cd drive does not work and I haven't had any luck uploading our files to the net, so it's either, keep using a computer that doesn't work (very hard to do) or lose everything. Sometimes I just want to throw it out the window! :) I know the files aren't truly important in the big picture. I just spent hours upon hours putting all the music on the computer and fixing the pictures. The music would be lost forever (we sold all of our cd's). Anyhow I should go, I am sitting here listening to him cry himself horse so I should probably get him.


our new endeavor

For awhile we have wanted to have an Ebay store or a website (Ebay is kind of expensive). We aren't quite there (need to finish the planning and work on what we'd like to sell, mostly homemade things/crafts and woodworking. But the precursor to that is a website that's just about us and the things we have found that work. Like the recipes for our soap and laundry detergent. We got the site yesterday, so now we just have to built it and put stuff on there! I'm excited. It's just nice to have something concrete to see that we really are making some progress towards simplicity in our lives and living naturally. Plus there is no advertising on the site so we feel we are making headway in living the non-consumerist life that we really want. Yes we are weird!

Once I actually set up the basic site I'll post a link. I have to figure it all out. :)


Monday, July 23, 2007


Some recent happenings have made me have some deep thoughts :). We don't have a lot of contact with Chip's family for a few reasons. But something kind of struck my today. Paul has this whole other family that he doesn't know. He hasn't gotten to meet them. And because we haven't gotten many pictures developed and I don't have emails for them, they haven't seen pictures either. We both really want to get up to Connecticut so he can meet them, we just simply don't have the money for the trip (or really a car we are comfortable taking). Hopefully soon though.



Things I dream about daily. In no order

*having a TLM close enough to be involved in
*our future farm
*a house not covered with lead
*being able to grow a garden (lead in soil here)
*having a sacramental marriage (and the children that come with it :) )
*a clean house! ha, that'll never happen!
*community, friends others who think like me (AP, Trad Catholic....................)
*being debt free
*having our own house, even if it's falling apart
*taking a shower

I am sure there are more :) Don't know why I felt like sharing these, just seemed kind of fun.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

quick post

My computer is totally on the fritz so I have no clue if I"ll even get to send this. The modem died so we can't get dial up and the wireless doesn't really work. We are trying to save everything (music, pictures, files), but it seems that my cd burner does not work. We plan to wipe out the hard drive to see if it fixes the computer. So that is why I have not been posting or replying, no computer or internet. So if you don't hear from me that is why! :)


Tuesday, July 17, 2007


So frustrated with this internet. I can NEVER get it to work. It’ll take me all night, seriously, all night to just get it to open one page. It’ll probably take me two days to send this message since that’s a series of about three pages (I’m writing it in word first). The internet is my only connection with other people. It is too hot to walk to the library. How sad does that make me? I just want to stupid internet to work, how much is that to ask, really, how much?? It’ll be months before we can afford our normal internet that works. I need people to talk to. Why does everything have to be such a huge struggle?? Can’t something ever just be easy?

It’s even more than just talking to people, I have people I need to respond to, and I can’t get to my email to do that. Important things like conversion and annulment stuff.

I think I am just going to give up. I’m tired of the fight. It’s obviously only important to me. I’m tired of pulling teeth. I’m done, I simply can not do it anymore. I’m also signing out of one of my most beloved groups. It has come to my attention that my presence there makes people uncomfortable, which I understand, but I can’t handle that anymore, so I’ll leave. Maybe someday I won’t be in such an irregular situation so I’ll be able to go back. I will miss them greatly.

That’s all for now.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Latin Mass

I have been waiting until it was official, and then I didn't get to posting until today. I am so hopeful that now that it's free and clear that we will get a closer Mass. I wonder how we could go about finding a Priest to say the TLM?? Do you just ask? Is that improper? Oh, to have a Latin Mass community near by, pure heaven! I just can't imagine! I am so thankful for the current Pope! He is doing great things for the Church!


Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I just got an email that said his first web page will be gone in a week, so if you want to see those first pictures (from the hosptial), go and check them out. It was kind of sad. He's growing up so fast, I can't believe it. He's over twice the size he was when he was born. I almost can't remember him being so small. I missed so much of his first days. With the next child I am going to hire someone to come daily to do the basic tasks that I worried over.

So go look at him :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Growth spurt

Boy oh boy has Paul been growing! He has been an eating machine! Last night at my parents he weighted in at 23 pounds! I can not believe it! I never thought I'd have a 23 pound 4 month old! I now have 3 rolls of film to develop. We are close to out of our hole, so soon we should be able to get them developed! Can't wait to share! He still steals the room where ever we go. He's a cutie pie!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

No title again,

I killed my bird. I feel awful. Been having such a rough time lately, I sure didn't need this. Why didn't I give them water this morning when I first saw they needed it. How could I forget. He was a birthday present.


Saturday, July 07, 2007

It won't let me give a title. It was going to be "Giving up?"

It has been a very rough few days. My spirits are very down. I feel like just crawling in a hole and never coming out. There is just no point in trying to even be positive about anything. Every time you start to be positive something comes and takes it away. We are too poor to even do the things we need to do, like go to Mass and get Chip to his conversion classes. We also have to pay for the annulment. But really money is the least of the issues. Every thing in my life is a fight right now. Fight to parent the way we want, fight to live how we want (simply and naturally), fight because of religious differences. And even if it isn't an out right verbal fight, it's me just not saying anything and smiling and nodding. I hate that.

I feel like my spirit if broken. I think I'm living a pipe dream.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

The 4th

It was a very anti climatic 4th for me. Just same old same old, cleaning, feeding, more feeding and rocking :) I had kind of hoped to get to bbq with my parents, but that didn't happen, which I guess had the plus side of getting the house clean.

The last few weeks have been kind of rough for me. I missed my pills one day and that really threw me off and I just can't seem to get back. I also think a lot of the other things going on in my life are hampering my mood, but that's expected, life is not always roses. I'm trying to bring more faith into our daily life, it's a slow process, but it's getting there. I'm kind of needing something to keep me on my toes though.

Paul is growing, I can't believe how much he changes daily. I think he is actually going through a growth spurt as all he's been doing is eating (a TON) and sleeping.

My only in real life local friend is moving in about a month. Kind of a sad reality to think of. I need to find a new network! Of course those interested in the things I am are all in the city! So far away!

Anyhow, I should go. Need to finish the tea and head to sleep. Sleep is precious! Need lots :)