Sunday, March 28, 2010

Lessons Learned in the Last Few Weeks

~Chickens do not belong in the house.  I am guessing that extends to ALL livestock.  If you are struggling with the process of growing your own meat, let it live in your kitchen for a month, trust me, you will come to terms with it quicker than you think!

~Paul really only likes candy that is chocolate.  Which is good since that’s my favorite too :).

~Organic brownie mixes are awesome with homemade chocolate icing, and you don’t have to worry about feeling guilty for feeding your child a bunch of crap.

~Chickens stink, a lot, you can’t make it not smell no matter how often you clean them.  Also, they poop a lot, and by a lot I mean constantly!

~Apparently getting more and/or better sleep makes you more tired than you were before.  I am SO, SO tired.  I need a nap in the worst way, but still many hours before Paul goes to sleep.

~Three year olds apparently don’t have ears, or at least can’t hear or listen.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Paul sweetness

I was trying to work on a chocolate frosting for some organic brownies I was making (they were EXCELLENT! and no junk in them, not even soy! :) ).  I was stirring so I couldn’t hold Dolores (and being selfish for not just putting her in the mei tai).  She started crying and I was telling her that I’d be there as soon as I was done.  Paul got off the counter, went over to her and started rubbing her tummy.  The conversation we had:

P – I’m trying to calm her down

me – thank you Paul

P – I covering her, she’s cold

me – thank you Paul, can you sit next to her, maybe she’s lonely?

P – okay (and he goes and sits next to her, and starts rubbing her tummy, she stopped crying when he had first gone over to her)

He then gives her a kiss

me – aw, did you give her a kiss?  That was nice of you.

P – yes, I kiss her, trying to calm her down.  I going to get my dump truck for her to hold

me – she might like that (she starts fussing when he gets up)

me – I think she would rather you sit with her (me not knowing that she had straightened her legs out)

P - (he goes back to sit next to her and she starts screaming loudly, he gets down and covers his ears) She’s scream her head off.

me – (I go to check her and realize that he had sat on her legs, and pick her up).

It was super cute.  I didn’t even ask him to go to her, he just did.  Giving her a kiss was the best!

He was very happy with the brownies too!  I’m so glad to have found some brownies/cake mixes that are just like I’d make at home!  Sometimes I just like the quick way, and now I don’t have to feel guilty feeding Paul junk!

Friday, March 26, 2010

end of a long day

Today is just one of those days.  I’m so tired today, which of course makes everything else harder to deal with.  Got some bad news about one of our cats.  I don’t know yet what we are going to do regarding that. 

I’m tired of the chickens in the house.  SO, SO tired of it.  They are not pets!  And they are SO incredibly messy.  Plus the big feeder and waterer won’t work in their current cage, so I am feeding them and watering them twice a day.  SO done.  They can not go outside soon enough in my mind!

Lack of patience, I hate being short with the kids, it really bothers me.  I also have to get up tomorrow morning, that always puts me in a mood.  Hate lost sleep.  Paul will have fun though, and I’ll get to see my sister, haven’t seen her in awhile, that’ll be nice.

Some other things, but since I don’t really know who’s reading, I won’t get into it. 


Thursday, March 18, 2010


I have a few to share and some thoughts about pictures online in general.  This blog saves all pictures I post to an album on Picasa.  If someone looks at them on Picasa, they can not copy them, but if they look at my blog I am pretty sure they can.  That kind of freaks me out, so I’m not sure if I will continue to post pictures, or if I’ll just post links to pictures on the album.  We’ll see.  The same thing happens on facebook too.  That scares me.  I have the settings at only friends, and really, I don’t care if family wants a picture.  I’d just prefer they ask first.  So I just need to address that separately.  Any thoughts on online security of photos?  Besides not sharing?  Would you still look at pictures if you had to click a link to get to them?  I wouldn’t password protect it, though I have thought about it.

Now for the pictures.


Chip took this of Paul while he was sitting on his lap.  You can really see his nice hair cut :)


Is that not the cutest picture ever of her?  My friend Mary got her an outfit set that had this hat, it is so cute on her!

no caffeine

With Paul, when he got to be about 7 months old, I started to notice that he was crazy fussy, and it seemed to be linked to the caffeine I drank.  I was also drinking a lot of soda then, so that seemed like a good link to draw.  So out the soda/caffeine went and he started sleeping again.

Now Dolores was seeming to be like that, so I thought I’d try it again, and it’s working.  She will now take an actual nap, sometimes two :).  Like, I can leave her asleep and she’ll actually stay asleep for more than 20 minutes.  It’s great!  Now I know what I’ll get if I drink caffeine.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Late nights

I have been staying up for a few hours after the kids go to sleep.  I just waste time online.  It’s been bugging me because I don’t actually DO anything when I’m online, just read and look, I think that’s a waste of time.  So today I thought I’d refocus myself.  For me the internet if for connecting, how much connecting am I doing if I’m not actually replying, posting and such?  None.  So I worked on writing a few emails and actually concentrating my energy toward things that I will be able to help with the most and also that will help me the most.

Also, I figured if I’m going to lose sleep then I should do something that actually will make me sleep better and wake up in a better mood.  So I took the first 30 minutes to listen to some Pandora (Ben Folds station).  I picked up the toys, even from under things, picked up trash, emptied the dishwasher and let the dogs out.  Now just a few odds and ends online.  I think I’ll sleep well tonight!

Now I’m finishing up this post while Dolores coos at herself as she woke up, which was fine, she needed a new diaper, and that always wakes her up.  Of course she is so different than Paul regarding sleep!  That’s another post, maybe for tomorrow!


It has been kind of a rough week for me.  Something about Paul’s birthday.  It brought me back to his birth.  I haven’t even written a birth story for him, I can’t, and definietly couldn’t at the time.  For those of you who aren’t into birth, you might not get this.  I really thought that the wonderful, healing, powerful birth of Dolores that it wouldn’t matter to me anymore about Paul’s birth, but if anything, it matters more.  I feel so betrayed.  I feel like I lost something with him that I can and never will get back.  Some so special was stolen from me.   Yes, in the long run, birth is such a small, small part of a babe’s life, and the fact that he is healthy and wonderful little boy that he is should be enough.  Maybe it’s just to close to my heart I don’t know.

On the other side of this coin, you have Dolores, who is really blossoming!  (more on that later)  But I have so much guilt with her.  I think she cries too much because of me.  Because I have to finish something and she wakes up or needs to eat or just doesn’t want to sit on the couch alone.  I am so afraid of ruining her.  This stems from things that I can’t get onto here because I don’t know who reads.  Just a lot of guilt!

Now for Dolores’ blossoming.  She has starting talking up a storm, just babbling to herself for long periods of time.  Last week she didn’t want anything to do with being on her tummy, and now she will lay there for a long time, with her head up (like she’s on her elbows) and watch whatever is going on.  Grabbing around at things,  not really playing with them yet, just watching them and kind of realizing that yes her hands can and do hold things.

Paul has been getting so grown up.  I don’t know if it’s just the hair cut or what.  He’s no longer a baby or even a toddler.  I hate to call him a preschooler because, well he doesn’t/won’t go to preschool, but I guess that’s what they call this age.  He is talking/using so many words.  He can tell stories and he’s even using his imagination some, which I think is totally awesome!  Showing a real interest in the letters.  It’s just amazing to watch him learn, watch him figure out a problem and put things together.

Here’s a few of my favorite pictures of late.


Paul after his haircut (can you believe he finally let us cut his hair?  He let daddy do it :) ).



See how big those chickens have gotten?  I am so very much struggling with the fact that we will be eating them at some point.   I knew we’d be eating the Cornish Crosses, but, the others, I had this image in my head of this nice little flock of birds to follow us around for years to come, but after doing some reading, it seems that their productive years (for eggs) is very short, and we can’t just keep them as pets!  I guess we’ll be doing the chick thing more often than I thought, which is fine, they are cute! :)



Look at that cuteness!  A week ago I was all worried because she wouldn’t even hold her shoulders up or sit on her elbows, and now, just look at her :).  She’s been sitting like that right next to me for about 15 minutes watching Paul play with his trains while I type this. :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Three years old

Today Paul is 3.  That seems to big and old, but to me, Paul is still a baby!

Paul is a talker, he loves to talk and can do so very well.  I was just reminded of that today, he can pretty much say anything he wants.  It has been amazing watching him grow and learn.  He is a pleasure.  Yes, there are hard times with him, but overall, he is a pleasure to be around.   He’s sensitive and very smart, doesn't like to be the center of attention, but also at times likes to be a ham.  He will not perform for anyone!  Don’t ask him to recite he’ll just totally shut down.  Feel very blessed to be his mom and to have him around, doesn’t seem like it’s been three years, yet at the same time, it seems as though there was never a time he wasn’t here.

I just measured him, he joyfully complied! :) he’s 35.5 inches tall, so if the thought that you are a half inch taller in the morning is true, then he’s 36 inches tall and 36 months old, kind of cool! :)


Taken last night, to show his hair cut.  He looks so grown up here.



The cake coming out.  Also my dad holding Dolores, Chip and my mom with the cake.  He’s covering his face because we are signing to him.



Blowing out the candles.



Licking the icing off the candles.

Monday, March 08, 2010

is it a dog, cow or horse?

Paul's new thing is to make a 'farm' or fence for Pepper. Pepper is a very good dog about this and will actully stay because Paul wants her too. Even if she can get out. Sometimes Pepper is a cow, and other times she's a horse, normally she's a cow. These are pictures from two different farms he made for her.

Friday, March 05, 2010


Really enjoying this windows live writer.  It makes posting to the blog so MUCH easier.  And I like it better than the interface that blogger has.  Posting pictures is much easier as well.

I really miss Firefox.  I have tried so hard to like Internet Explorer 8, trying to keep this computer running smooth and fast, and not wanting to add more stuff, but I think I am going to have to cave on this. 

I can’t wait for my glasses to be ready, so tired of having a headache often and not really being able to read.  The computer isn’t causing much problems, which I find odd, but reading books, even reading to Paul, causes a headache.

I’m trying to not drink caffeine for a few days because I  think it’s causing Dolores’ fussiness.  I think it was about this time with Paul that I realized the same thing.  We’ll see, not the best thing to give up when already dealing with headaches! :)

Paul working on thoughts about God

(this was totally out of the blue, so it was pretty amazing to me!)

While pointing to his chest, asking what his nipple was, he said “Jesus put it there?” I said yes, (Paul identifies all things God related with Jesus because he sees Jesus on the crucifix). Then these are the statements he made.

Jesus put me together (me answering yes)

Jesus put my feet together

Jesus put my head together

Jesus put her head together (pointing to Dolores’ head)

Then he pointed to the computer and asked if Jesus put it together, I said that He didn’t, but that He gave the people who made it the ability to do so.

Very proud mama right now!

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Something New

So I was poking around the new computer, and there was a link to write a blog, I clicked just to see what it did.  Had an option to add your blog so you could just post from the desktop.  Just trying it out to see how it goes and if it posts/looks the same when I post from here.  Kind of a neat idea!


Just playing around to see how it works, can ignore the post :).







So far this is looking easier to work with than blogger!  Had a heck of a time earlier getting the pictures right.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Four month old comparison

Paul Dolores
Both about four months old.

I caught such a nice smile I had to share.

last of the film pictures

This was the middle roll. I got them mixed up.

Three and a half months old.
Had to include this one because of the pudgy little rolls! He must have liked being on his tummy more than I recall, Dolores wants nothing to do with it! Maybe when she rolls over? :)

Three and a half months old, and Coby Jr. cuddling with him.

Love this one, staring right at the camera.

more film pictures

Almost four months old

Sitting at a little over four months

First camping trip, five months old and one of the hottest July's I recall.

Sitting with Daddy and the bear at Bass Pro Shops in Springfield, MO.

About four and a half months old, wearing 12 month clothes

Five months old, look at all the rolls!

three years ago

We have these film pictures from three years ago (some closer to two and a half years). It was so neat to see Paul at Dolores' age, he was so BIG compared to her! At four months he was over 20 pounds, she's around 14. Those six pounds make a huge difference!

I have two more disks to go though, so there will be more pictures to come :).

a month and a half. Wanted to remember how small his hands where
About two and a half months here. We are at a state park hiking trail. He looks as big as Dolores is now (she's about 4 months old).

Sleeping, two and a half months old. He always slept kind of over like that Dolores is more a back sleeper.

First baseball game, Kansas City Royals :). My mom is holding him, and that's my dad's hand.

Staring at Daddy, at about three months old.

This is Coby and Furball, who is Coby's son. Furball is the biggest cat I have ever seen, huge, here he's five months old and smaller than Coby. Coby was a very good cat dad.

Here are the other two kittens who Coby fathered, Coby Jr. and Moonshine. Again, the kittens are about five months old. Sometimes I miss only having five cats, honest confessions! :)

Monday, March 01, 2010

Dolores, 16 weeks

Life lately

Haven't been very good at blogging lately, been pretty busy and just super stressed, my own doing! :) Trying to refocus on priorities. Had really been struggling with motherhood and things like gentle disciple and attachment parenting. Mostly in short I was being lazy! Maybe it was more overwhelmed, I'm not sure. All I know is I've been more attentive and less stressed and I'm sitting around a lot more!

So I have a lot of AP mama guilt about Dolores and her crying. She cries a lot, more than I recall Paul crying. I feel like it's my fault because I can't always get to her. It's frustrating. I wish I could find a better balance. It really has more to do with fully embracing motherhood and giving up *my* thinking. Priorities, priorities.

A little about the kids lately. Paul is learning leaps and bounds. I have to be honest, at times I was a little leery of unschooling, but Paul really is teaching us that he can learn what he needs to learn, even if it is on his time, not ours or what the 'world' says is right. He picks up things everywhere. The other day, the first day I had my new computer (more on that later in this post), I was sitting on the couch and he was looking at the keyboard, I was telling him he couldn't touch the keys, and he was pointing to the 'w' and said 'w'. I was just so amazed! How in the world he figured that out I don't know, but he did. He often asks when reading stories what a word is, and sometimes also wants to know each letter, so that must be where he got it.

Dolores is about 16 weeks old, getting close to four months old. She is laughing, and enjoying that. She still has to stumble upon it, but once she finds it, she really enjoys it :). Grabbing at lots of things and trying to wiggle herself around to see things, watch Paul or the dogs/cats. No rolling, and I never do the tummy time thing since she hated it as a small baby, so I don't think she can do that yet. I think I'll try more tomorrow in the morning when she's her happiest. She sleeps decently. Was sleeping for several hours at the beginning of the night, but now she's up a lot more. It is totally dependant on how much I nurse her during the day. If she sleeps most of the day, then she nurses all night. So I try to nurse her a LOT during the day so I can get a decent slice of sleep, that is when I'm not being an insomniac like now.

I have been having horrid headaches that just don't go away (speaking of, should take some meds so I can sleep and not be dizzy!). It's getting a little old. I think I just need to find my glasses, but who knows where those are. But then there are other things going on with that that I'm not sure lead to glasses. Like the upset tummy, kind of feels like I have a mild hangover or car sickness. Also my head is just not right a lot, like fuzzy and dim. That could just be the new baby stuff.

So, the cool news is that Chip got me a laptop with the tax return. I kind of asked for it, but he was planning on surprising me with it anyway, so he picked it out/customized it and such. I am loving it! It's a laptop so I can have it where ever I am needing to be, so no more having to hide in the bedroom to send a quick email, or try to remember the million things I need to look up. And I have something to do when I can't sleep :), with now worry of waking babies when getting up to go to the computer, it's right next to me. I feel alittle spoiled and ritzy, but I do love it. I do miss Firefox though, but that's how it goes.

Well it's like 5 in the morning and I haven't slept yet, I should get to sleep so I don't have a tired headache on top of the normal migraine feeling ones I have constantly, hopefully they go away soon, I can handle the stomach stuff, but the head, not so good. Of course there are some great people/things I could be offering it up for, and it is Lent, so a good time to suffer through with out complaint. So to try that tomorrow!