Monday, March 01, 2010

Life lately

Haven't been very good at blogging lately, been pretty busy and just super stressed, my own doing! :) Trying to refocus on priorities. Had really been struggling with motherhood and things like gentle disciple and attachment parenting. Mostly in short I was being lazy! Maybe it was more overwhelmed, I'm not sure. All I know is I've been more attentive and less stressed and I'm sitting around a lot more!

So I have a lot of AP mama guilt about Dolores and her crying. She cries a lot, more than I recall Paul crying. I feel like it's my fault because I can't always get to her. It's frustrating. I wish I could find a better balance. It really has more to do with fully embracing motherhood and giving up *my* thinking. Priorities, priorities.

A little about the kids lately. Paul is learning leaps and bounds. I have to be honest, at times I was a little leery of unschooling, but Paul really is teaching us that he can learn what he needs to learn, even if it is on his time, not ours or what the 'world' says is right. He picks up things everywhere. The other day, the first day I had my new computer (more on that later in this post), I was sitting on the couch and he was looking at the keyboard, I was telling him he couldn't touch the keys, and he was pointing to the 'w' and said 'w'. I was just so amazed! How in the world he figured that out I don't know, but he did. He often asks when reading stories what a word is, and sometimes also wants to know each letter, so that must be where he got it.

Dolores is about 16 weeks old, getting close to four months old. She is laughing, and enjoying that. She still has to stumble upon it, but once she finds it, she really enjoys it :). Grabbing at lots of things and trying to wiggle herself around to see things, watch Paul or the dogs/cats. No rolling, and I never do the tummy time thing since she hated it as a small baby, so I don't think she can do that yet. I think I'll try more tomorrow in the morning when she's her happiest. She sleeps decently. Was sleeping for several hours at the beginning of the night, but now she's up a lot more. It is totally dependant on how much I nurse her during the day. If she sleeps most of the day, then she nurses all night. So I try to nurse her a LOT during the day so I can get a decent slice of sleep, that is when I'm not being an insomniac like now.

I have been having horrid headaches that just don't go away (speaking of, should take some meds so I can sleep and not be dizzy!). It's getting a little old. I think I just need to find my glasses, but who knows where those are. But then there are other things going on with that that I'm not sure lead to glasses. Like the upset tummy, kind of feels like I have a mild hangover or car sickness. Also my head is just not right a lot, like fuzzy and dim. That could just be the new baby stuff.

So, the cool news is that Chip got me a laptop with the tax return. I kind of asked for it, but he was planning on surprising me with it anyway, so he picked it out/customized it and such. I am loving it! It's a laptop so I can have it where ever I am needing to be, so no more having to hide in the bedroom to send a quick email, or try to remember the million things I need to look up. And I have something to do when I can't sleep :), with now worry of waking babies when getting up to go to the computer, it's right next to me. I feel alittle spoiled and ritzy, but I do love it. I do miss Firefox though, but that's how it goes.

Well it's like 5 in the morning and I haven't slept yet, I should get to sleep so I don't have a tired headache on top of the normal migraine feeling ones I have constantly, hopefully they go away soon, I can handle the stomach stuff, but the head, not so good. Of course there are some great people/things I could be offering it up for, and it is Lent, so a good time to suffer through with out complaint. So to try that tomorrow!

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