Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Wow, it has been a crazy few days. I'm starting to get that new parent tiredness.

I know I am suppose to be posting about the Yurts, I will, it just requires way more energy than I have now. Not to worry, it's coming :).

Paul has decided that not sleeping is good and fun, especially when it's fighting sleep. That is until about 10 at night when he finally goes down. At first this was very frustrating, but now that it is his 'thing' it's easier to deal with. He is pretty amazing though, learning and growing each day. It's neat to watch him process and take in everything he sees.

We are going to visit my grandma, Chip will be staying here. He has started a new second job, prayers for him to stay awake please, especially while driving, I'm very concerned. Okay, back on track :). All of my grandparents aren't doing well right now, so it's going to be a hard visit. It's sad to see people go down hill so quickly. I am looking forward to the visit though. Very glad that my mom didn't mind with coming with her because we don't have a car that we'd trust for the long drive, plus the money thing, gas is very expensive.

Well I think I may actually go to sleep, very tired. Hopefully we will get pictures developed late next week. I finished both rolls. So lots of pictures coming :), just may be a week or two.


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Update, update, UPdate

Yes, it's been awhile. I tend to only get on the computer while Chip is working, and he had an odd work week the last few weeks, and I had a lot of 'social' things, like going to my parents a few times. Plus, I have just been a tad lazy, or rather just haven't gotten on here.

Paul is going through a somewhat clingy period, so I don't get the chance to type much, but he is also getting into a more defined pattern for his days. He's great! I really enjoy watching him learn and grow more every day. I really wish I'd take more pictures so I could finish one of the rolls I have to post pictures. Hopefully this week. He's huge!!!!!!! He laughed last night for real, it was cute. He's getting pretty interactive now and just growing so much. When they say that it goes by so fast, they really mean it.

We are almost done with the annulment stuff! Just have to finish editing his life history (wow, was that hard!!!!!!!! and VERY long, like 12 pages not even double spaced yet! - I'm working as the editor, I don't know why because he's way better at English). We also have to somehow track down a copy of the marriage certificate, which is hard seeing as we can not find the phone number for the town hall that it would be at. How crazy is that??? They have a number for many different things, just not the place that keeps the records. So hopefully we'll have it submitted by Friday (minus the marriage certificate). That was our goal date, and I think we'll make it. So once all that's in, we just have the waiting. It feels good to get getting there.

Chip also is taking a second job for a few months. That is making the car issue even more important. I was doing well learning the car, but then got sick. So hopefully I'll get the chance to master it this weekend, before he starts the second job, as we are waiting on a silly $20 clip to make the Neon drivable. Can you believe that a silly little clip costs $20. I swear they design cars so that you have to spend this crazy money on silly parts! Oh, we also got the Nissan working well, as it now it actually stops. That's also one of the reasons I stopped trying to learn it, you had to stop with the emergency break, and that was just too much to coordinate with the extra pedal for the clutch (yes, I am a girl, it's just too much for me). It now stops like a normal car and I don't fear my life while being in it.

This weekend has a lot of good stuff happening. We have Paul's first appointment, it's with a holistic doctor in Booneville, way far away, but we hope she's a match with our ideals, that has been hard. Also, he has his first baseball game on Sunday. Can't wait, and it's also the day you can run/walk the bases afterward, so we will be doing that as well, can't wait! So excited.

OH, I should post about Mother's day. I had an old friend stop by with her boyfriend. It was a super treat. I hadn't really gotten to see/talk to her in SO long, it was great, and then to see her happy with a great guy was even better. I really enjoyed the visit. :) As for our Mother's day, it got postponed to Monday, it was nice. We just kind of hung out and went fishing in Sedalia at a nice lake, well nice for me, not good fishing for Chip. Then he made me a nice dinner. :)

Other random things. Lets see, I think we are going to build a yurt for us when we get land, if it doesn't have a house on it already. I have some reservations, but in general like the 'outside the box' nature of it and also, it's cheap and very versatile. I'm designing it slowly while I feed the baby :), talk about interesting, using a ruler, protractor and other devices with one hand while nursing a baby :). Lets just say, it's not perfect!

Also our landlord's lawn mower man cut down our garden, after I asked him not to and he said 'I leave that up to you all'. Talk about pissed off. If the peeling, chalking, shedding lead paint wasn't enough, you kill our little bit of food we had growing???? I called the health department about the lead paint, they never called back. Glad I wrote this because it reminded me that I need to call them again. So we are trying to find something else, but that's hard with our budget. I'm sure something will come up at some point.

I think that is all, for now anyway.


Tuesday, May 08, 2007


I'm feeling pretty good today. Feeling pretty blessed. Chip found a second job, which will help get us back on track. It will not be fun being home by myself all the time, but it's a necessary evil. Paul and I will miss him though :). I am just lucky that I get to stay home. It is a great sacrifice that is so worth it. I couldn't imagine having to leave Paul with someone else. I can't wait until the rest of our ducks fall into place (conversion, annulment........................... more babies!!!!!!!! :) can't wait for that!)

Today I was watching Paul, as I do often, and I realized how simply amazing it is that this person was created inside of me. Every day he grows and learns more. While nursing today, he learned that he can grab things with his hands. He was so intently watching as his hands grabbed my shirt and moved it. While I feel I missed a lot of his early days, I am sure making it a point to really watch and connect with him. I have a bad habit of just doing things out of routine and duty, rather than really enjoying him and watching him. Those small things are WAY more important than a clean sink!


Friday, May 04, 2007

it never ends

today was a bad day. I think I'm the worst mom there can be. and it's hot.

I realize everyone has bad days, and I will too, even with medicine to help out. What really scares me (and makes the bad days worse) is wondering how bad tomorrow could be. Once one little thing gets going in my head, all the bad, negative things just come flooding in. I can't handle them, then add on wondering what tomorrow has in store. Need to find a way to make my self hope for better, not fear for the worst. I feel I need to run away from my own brain. It just makes me this horrible person who I hate, very much.


Thursday, May 03, 2007

cats X 6

Life with 6 cats is never dull, that is for sure. I can't wait until we have a digital camera so that I can post pictures of their antics. So far today they have ripped apart two tea bags (all over the floor of course), shred to pieces two rolls of toilet paper, torn apart the bathroom cabinet looking for the Q-tips - which when they found they poured them all over the floor, nursed on their father - this I do not understand, as you know they aren't getting anything!

I took some pictures, but will have to wait to post until I finish the roll. I had to post this tonight so that I didn't just go to bed pissed off at them! :) Trying to put a positive spin on it.



We have settled into a nice semi-routine. It's nice. He is sleeping for longer stretches, and awake longer too. I am guessing he's sleeping just as much as before, but just putting a few of those mini naps into larger ones. I am paying for it slightly with less sleep, because before I could have him in bed for 12 hours (which gave me a decent amount of sleep, even including waking to feed him and such). Now it seems he kind of goes to sleep for the night kind of early for me (9 to 10). I'll adjust. :)

Anyone who has breast feed knows how incredibly thirsty you get. I have found the cure for me, iced tea. It's cheap and easy to make, and I need to be drinking about a gallon a day, so it works.

Because of this nice new little routine we have going, I have been able to get a little organizing done too. It's been nice to tackle a few of the cluttered areas a day. I just have the hallway, table, bathroom and top of the bookcase left. I feel nice an accomplished.