Monday, May 26, 2008

interesting dream

Last night I had a very telling dream, well telling of my former life, not so much at all now.

I was in college for a LONG time, just couldn't decide what I wanted to do, and honestly I hated change, so didn't have a clue at all what I would do after. I always thought you went to college to get married, so I was kind of holding out for that. Silly yes, but anyhow.

Toward the end of college, I became Catholic, which was a good thing, very good! I met a lot of good people and became part of the campus Catholic group. They were all young. I also spent a lot of time going to visit other friends in all parts of the state.

My dream was about how I was trying so hard to be something I wasn't, mainly, trying to be young and cool and hip. I was not young at all! Old for college, and hip and cool will never ever describe me! What is funny is that I find myself at times longing for those carefree days. A lot actually. But from that dream I also realized that during that time I was also running away from reality a lot. That's why I went so many places (besides, liking the people I went to see). It was a way to get away from the misery that I had put on myself.

I don't seem to have that issue a lot now. I do like escaping from the mundane life on occasion, but reality is still reality, that doesn't change. Maybe I have figured out what I want and what I'm comfortable with. I have tried to take more control over my own life lately, rather than just floating. I think that makes a difference.

Anyhow, this was suppose to be way deeper, but the thoughts have left me! Mostly I just found it so interesting the revelation that dream opened up for me. It was interesting to see how I have changed from then to now.


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