Monday

It's been a hard week and thought I'd update a little. Thought not really in the mood to write, but taking the time while Paul sleeps :).

My grandpa died on Wednesday. My grandma's death had just started to sink in, so this is just so, so hard. Having them both gone is just so overwhelmingly sad. I am very glad I was able to go to the funeral though. I think it really helped with making it real and not just something I can push aside and not deal with. It was also very sudden. I am so very glad that I had been able to get to know them as an adult. The last long visit I had, about 3 years ago, was so nice. Before that I had only known them as a kid knows their grandparents, but I was able to get to know them for the people they were. I don't know if that makes any sense. I still regret that I was just awful about correspondence though. Could have been so much closer if I'd tried. I hate that I am just so awful about that. anyhow. Not really needing to get into that right now.

I feel a big hole right now, which I don't feel I deserve to feel. Can't really explain that one.

Julie