Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Paul's weaning

Paul has been weaning on his own for a little bit. I guess I should be glad that it was without tears or trial on his part. Makes me so sad though. Something so special and meaningful for me, gone. Something that really helped me through some very rough times as a new mom. I miss my little nursing boy who loved to nurse, all the time! He doesn't even need Puppa anymore (Puppa is his little stuffed dog with silky ears he loved, and had to have while nursing).

I feel so useless some any days. Paul doesn't need me like before and if Chip is home and awake Paul prefers him. I feel like I'm just a maid. So thankful for all the extra time no internet is providing, at least he'll sit with me a little bit to read or play his trucks next too me.

I miss the snuggles and the sleepy eyed child coming up with Puppa asking for 'sleepy's'. Now he just goes to Chip's chair and dozes off, me taking him to bed, him not even stirring for even a little nursing. I would love to have one last time to nurse him to sleep. I wish I had known the last time was the last time. Now it's just in the morning as he's waking. Having a hard time with that because it was always my least favorite time for nursing, I wanted to be sleeping, still do. Yet at the same time I want to cherish it since I have NO clue if it'll be THE last time ever he nurses.

It happened way to fast for me, maybe over a month. Maybe it'll be a blessing in disguise, only having one to nurse after baby comes, but for now it hurts and makes me sad. I would love to just one more time have him come up to me, Puppa in hand, asking for 'sleepy's', 'Puppa's', and 'bed'.


1 comment:

KuskoMama said...

How is your pregnancy coming along?