ahhhh peace

it has been raining for a day, right now I am enjoying a cup of tea and quiet, oh blissful quiet! Listening to the rain since I opened up the windows today. I always hate when you go from the season of open windows (spring and fall) to that of closed. I love hearing the sounds of nature. Not so much the sounds of loud neighbors, but I love the birds!

It has been a kind of rough few weeks for me. I missed my meds one day and it has taken so long to get back to 'normal'. Also I had gotten horribly behind on house work and I HATE that feeling. I like a mostly uncluttered house with mopped and vacuumed floors. It feels so clean! :)

For the longest while I was really struggling with the housewife part of being a SAHM, but I have taken a new look at it and maybe even surrendered myself to it. My home is my work, as are my child/children. I know pride is bad, but I take pride in them. I feel they are my responsibility and when it's done right I feel good. I know to some that is sad, but to me it seems perfectly normal for the life we have chosen.

I got called crazy by my mom yesterday! It was in reference to me saying we'd like a food processor to help up make some of our food. She wanted to know what we were doing that a blender wouldn't work for. I told her peanut butter. She said "you can read the labels and see what's in it at the store", then called me crazy and said she had a 21st century hippy daughter. I like that, because it's true. We are trying to live a very simple life. One not filled with consumerism. We LIKE making our own food and knowing EXACTLY what is in it. Is it easier, of course not. But it's what we strive for.

Oh the topic of housekeeping. Chip bought me a new mop because I have the saddest excuse for one currently. It is AMAZING. I thought there was no mop that could get into the grooves of this floor, so I'd have to scrub it normally to make it clean. This mop does that too! No scrubbing needed! Lets just hope the cats don't rip it apart like the other one!

Okay, off to reply to a few posts people left for me.

Julie

melancholy

feeling somewhat melancholy today. Maybe it's because I'm reading "Anna Karena" by Tolstoy, or cause Paul has decided sleep is evil :), so mommy is very tired. Maybe I just have a lot on my mind, I'm not sure. We are making lots of positive changes in our lives, and I know I'm pretty excited to see how they will work and help out in the long run. Also we are SO close on the annulment stuff. We had a dull period and now we are just like two pieces of information away. I can't wait until we get that all sent in. Just keep praying it all goes well and quickly! I'm anxious to see where it goes and hopeful to have a sacramental marriage. I think that's a lot of the mood today. We are on the verge of some very good things for us, many answered prayers, we just aren't quite there yet and the waiting is getting to me.
It's been troubling me lately about the differences in our parenting and what my parents think is normal. I don't want there to be strain there every time we see them, because we want Paul to have a lot of contact with them, and they have so much joy in seeing him and his cousin. It's just hard because we have such different ideals and thoughts and even goals. I don't want to make them feel bad or inferior or like we are judging them.
So I guess I'm just thinking too much! who would think I was capable of thinking too much! :)

Julie

back

I'm back, kind of anyway :). It's not reliable, but I'm here :). Sure have missed having the blog to talk to! Thought was only like two weeks.

Paul is close to 18 pounds and 24 inches long. He's growing so fast! I sometimes miss my little baby, but he's doing what he is suppose to do. He's currently trying to figure out the rolling over thing.

He did well on our trip, I had to nurse him a few times while we were driving, but it worked out well. As far as the visit with grandparents. It was so hard to see my grandparents so diminished. It has just been less than a year and it has changed them so. Makes me sad.

I am sure there is a ton more I'd love to share, but I'm so tired. So I think I'm going to go join my baby bed hog and get some sleep. More later.

Julie

miss the blog

boy I miss blogging! I can't wait until we have the net again, hopefully within a few months. I am missing having a place to talk! :) Just a little update.

Julie

no internet

we are internetless right now, I'm at the library and Paul does not like it here :( I just wanted those to read and have asked questions to know why I was gone.