A few days past my due date :)

I thought it was the 26th, but Chip says it was the 27th. I think it'll be after Halloween before a baby shows up :). I am just glad that I didn't focus on the 'due' date as the be all and end all of pregnancy! I still don't have any real feelings about when, except that I think it'll be after Halloween. Getting a little more excited, but at the same time, liking the extra time to get a few last minute things done. And sleep, as much as Paul will let me, and since he sleeps so little, it's not a lot, but better than none!

Julie

finally and update after the long break

First a few random musing.

Wic changed everything foodwise, which for the most part is a good thing. The part that really is frustrating me is the juice. We get so little now, and the juice we have to get for Paul is the kind in a plastic bottle. I hate plastic. And I was reading the ingredients and there are things in there to 'maintain color and flavor'. Why can't I just get a nice frozen thing for him? Why does it have to be that crap? I actually think I'm going to write them about it. I can get frozen juice, but not Paul, doesn't really make much sense.

I think I broke my toe this morning too, and also ripped the nail almost all off. It hurts, a lot. I need some flip flops so I can run errands, shoes are NOT happening today! :)

So for updates. Not a lot has really happened in the last few months. Paul has gotten bigger and talks all the time. He's pretty well able to communicate what he wants/needs/likes. I don't think there is a word he hasn't at least attempted to say, he's also starting to have more conversations, which is kind of neat. He said 'I love you' for the first time the other day, of course it was to the cat, Coby. It was said as he was mauling him :).

Pregnancy is almost over. It has been a pretty easy one, not many issues at all. Our midwife is wonderful. I spend all month (or week or whatever time span it is) looking forward to the visits. She is exactly what we needed. I am looking forward to having a homebirth this time, especially as much as we had wanted one last time. Not feeling and labor vibes yet, and today is my due date, I think, maybe it's tomorrow. I never really put much stock in those things, I'd rather have a 'due month' or 'due season'.

Well someone is stirring so I should end this before he jumps on daddy :).

Julie

I love our midwife!

She is wonderful! I wish midwifery in MO was in a better place so I could say more about her :), but she's great.

Had a visit with her today and was wonderful as always. It's so nice to be about to talk about fears and birth and having someone so completely in your corner. There is something so great about having a care giver who really cares, so reassuring and gentle. Paul had a blast too, which is great.

Julie

I hate bad news

There were two things I was really, really looking forward to with getting the internet back. Being able to be a part of the women's Traditional Catholic group (which, sadly, as we are still waiting for the marriage stuff, I don't feel right really being much a part of, just doesn't seem like I deserve to be a part of that right now), and mostly, the AP/ natural parenting group I was a part of. I really needed their wisdom during this time, adding another child to our family, and also just having others who I 'knew' and was really comfortable with to talk about issues with raising kids in a way that most of society doesn't embrace (AP, gentle discipline, so on and so forth).

So for the bummer part, found out today that I won't be able to be a part of that group. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or what, but, man, it hurts, a lot. It's rejection in a way that I can't even pinpoint. Wish Paul was asleep so I could just crawl into bed and pretend the day was over, or didn't happen, and honestly cry, yes, I know that is probably stupid to say, but, yeah, that's how I feel. It was a family to me, that I had to take an unwanted break from because of money, and now, it's gone forever. I'll get over it, but that doesn't change the feelings now. Anyhow. I don't want to piss anyone off from that group who may read this, so I'll stop my blubbering childishness.

Julie

late night thoughts

It has been awhile since I have been able to really put my thoughts out there. I tried writing them out, but it didn't really work. Definitely missed having the blog!

It has been a crazy pregnancy. It still seems unreal to me really. I don't know if it has been all the 'stuff' that's been going on or if it's just that I am preoccupied with Paul. I really can't believe there will be another little person here in the next few weeks.

Just now I had laid in bed and looked at Paul sleeping so soundly next to me and it hit me that I only have a few days or weeks to have it be just him. I don't know how I missed that one all this time. I'm really going to miss that I can give him all my attention and time, that he can HAVE all my attention and time. How will he handle being pushed aside, I just hope he doesn't see it like that. How to make the transition easier for him? I just don't know. This revelation is putting a lot of things in perspective for me, like how out of order my priories are. I hope I can find the patience and understanding to help him with this transition.

Falling asleep as I write, so guess that should be my hint to go to bed, and cuddle with my little boy as much as I can, while I can.

Julie

back online

Well for a little bit anyway, hopefully through winter. We'll see :)

Now to get back in the swing of things and get caught up. I think that task may be not possible!

Julie