There were two things I was really, really looking forward to with getting the internet back. Being able to be a part of the women's Traditional Catholic group (which, sadly, as we are still waiting for the marriage stuff, I don't feel right really being much a part of, just doesn't seem like I deserve to be a part of that right now), and mostly, the AP/ natural parenting group I was a part of. I really needed their wisdom during this time, adding another child to our family, and also just having others who I 'knew' and was really comfortable with to talk about issues with raising kids in a way that most of society doesn't embrace (AP, gentle discipline, so on and so forth).
So for the bummer part, found out today that I won't be able to be a part of that group. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or what, but, man, it hurts, a lot. It's rejection in a way that I can't even pinpoint. Wish Paul was asleep so I could just crawl into bed and pretend the day was over, or didn't happen, and honestly cry, yes, I know that is probably stupid to say, but, yeah, that's how I feel. It was a family to me, that I had to take an unwanted break from because of money, and now, it's gone forever. I'll get over it, but that doesn't change the feelings now. Anyhow. I don't want to piss anyone off from that group who may read this, so I'll stop my blubbering childishness.