Sunday, December 06, 2009

My children

It is still weird to me to say 'children' or 'kids'. Not a bad weird, but still different. :) I have been wanting to write this for a week or so.

I feel very blessed to have these two people in my life. My favorite time of day is when we go to sleep and I have them both there with me. One cuddling, the other nursing. I often reflect back to this time in Paul's life, which is so muddled by the PPD. I don't really remember much if anything about that time with him. In so many ways I feel new to this life stage with Dolores. The PPD really did take more than I thought it did away. It is such a different infanthood with Dolores, I'm very, very grateful that things are going much better, meaning no PPD this time.

Mostly I'm just glad that I might have a shot at remembering this time. It is so short a time that they are little. The last few days I really have been thinking about that a lot, how short this time is. How much I waste of these special moments because I want to clean this thing or get that done. It's really not as important at all. It's just hard to let go of that control and be more in the moment. Does it really matter that there are toys on the floor? Or that I didn't get ALL the dishes washed? No, not at all.

So glad to have them, I just hope that I can continue to remember the little moments, rather than the distractions that come up!

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