Resolutions

I'm not usually big on resolutions, since I tend to never follow through, and also tend to make them too lofty and completely unattainable, at least for me! But I have a lot of time to think in the middle of the night while nursing or waiting for one child to sleep, or just during my own restlessness, and I found that most of what I think about is the people who I lost touch with, usually my own doing because I'm horrid at things like returning phone calls, emails or cards, or even making a call or sending an email to say thanks for a card or call. So I'm working on that. Trying to keep up even is slowly with emails, and getting in contact with those who I have let slip through the cracks.

I know not everyone will reply or maintain contact, but at least I tried, which for some reason puts my mind at ease, at least in thought, we'll see if it actually happens in action!

I also want to be more regular in blogging. Most nights while not sleeping and laying in bed I come up with great posts, I just can't get to the computer to type them. I think I'll try writing them in a notebook (or find a way to get a cordless mouse and keyboard). I really enjoy posting here, even if no one reads. It's like a journal, yes I do have to edit some since I don't know WHO might read it, but mostly it's just nice to have a place to put my thoughts and know that someone might read them and send a prayer or maybe even some advice or a been there, done that.

It is amazing how much life has changed since starting this blog over five years ago. I was young and stupid (how I could even think 27 was young, but it was). I had a lot of growing up to do, and still do in many ways. I really had to find my own way, in my own time. I stepped away from my faith, willingly, but that allowed me to see how wonderful the faith really is, how much sense it does make and how the world just makes so much more sense when you follow it. Not that I'm there yet. I still have a long way to go in daily practice.

I also had to find my voice and not let others always think and lead me. I know for some having someone else always lead them is good, it wasn't for me. I found that I never had my own thoughts and that those people would the voice in my head. Yes, sometimes it is good, especially when my own judgement was lacking, but for the most part I just found that I felt completely lost. I learned a lot from those people though.

Fussing baby, wants to eat, 6 week growth spurt! and who knows what Paul's gotten into. Had hoped to have some pictures, maybe later or tomorrow.