A cold

A cold has found me, yay! I just got better and now another. And I never go anywhere or talk to anyone or really see other humans. So who knows where this came from! Just hope Paul doesn't get it. Hate to see him sick.

We are getting some snow tonight, had some all day, didn't stick. I kind of hope it sticks, just because it's pretty, and even a gloomy day with snow is happy! Now sun needed. I so wish I could find some little rain boots/snow boots for Paul, I think he'd really enjoy exploring this white stuff.

Julie

reflecting

I have been working on adding pictures to my photobucket, and tagging them. It's made me kind of reflective. (here's the link to our album - http://s108.photobucket.com/albums/n3/seekingmyplace/)

The last two years have been years of so, so much change. A lot of grief. I can't even put my finger on the grief. Cats, fathers, grandma's, neighbors, and that's just the people/pets we loved. Add in losing everything and the whole mess that was McKissock st. and our first trailer, and it's just been hell to put it nicely. I miss some things about that time though, like a clean house. Before things got bad at McKissock, it was a lovely house, I still really miss that house. There is something about a house that is so nice that I can't really describe after having lived in a trailer. Though we have been lucky with the trailers, as they both have real floors, not that particle board stuff. Anyway. I miss the simpleness of that time before things got bad. Though, I'm sure I'm glossing over things, as life is pretty simple now, though also, way more challenging. No longer can I just clean all day and be productive. I have Paul who needs me, a LOT these days.

Okay, not really sure where this is going, it's just interesting to see how life changes, and to see where we are now, versus where we were then. Lots is better, though more stressful, but I think before I wasn't paying attention to things that needed attention - which is what got us in trouble! I just really hope that we don't look back at the coming year the way we look back at the last few. We need a year of happiness, not another of grief. There are so many great possibilities for us that will come to a head in the coming year, I just hope there is no more death. I am so done with death, and loss and failing.

Off to bed I go, do check out the pictures, I added a few more than I posted here.

Julie

A few pictures from Thanksgiving

Paul and his Aunt Missie











Paul and his cousin Andi, along with a few cats

















Making the gingerbread house

Grandma passing and Thanksgiving

Instead of two posts, I thought I'd put both these together.

My Grandma passed away on Monday. It still hasn't really hit me, but have been distracted by holiday visitors who left today. I'm sad I can't get to the funeral to be with family, but I don't know that I could have handled being there either.

My grandma has melanoma, she found out about it about 2 and a half years ago. By time they took it out it had already spread. She fought for a long time. I will miss her very much, she had such spirit. Wish we had been closer.


For Thanksgiving my sister in law came up with her daughter. It was a hard one for them too, as it's the first with out her father (Chip's dad died in January - if you remember). It was nice having people around and it was a nice Thanksgiving. Sad to have them gone today. Paul keeps asking for 'issie', even looking out the window for her car. I think it'll be a long day! I always hate that sad lonely feeling you have after a guest leaves. It's like the house is empty. I even got this as a kid when friends would stay the night. Doesn't help any that it's dreary out and we are out of kerosene to warm up the room, yuck!

She will be back for Christmas, it'll be nice. I'm going to try to get the pictures on the computer from their visit to share later.

Julie

Busy Day

We have been very busy lately! Moving everything that goes to storage, over there, and working on little projects on the house. Today we also picked up our new dog. We had been wanting to get our dog a friend, and we found a very, very sweet, gentle older dog. I'll take pictures over the next few days to share. Paul loves her! And she is wonderful with him.

Also getting ready for my sister in law's visit for Thanksgiving. Looking forward to the company, and catching up with family. Just hope we get the house in order before she gets here!

Paul is quite busy just being Paul. His new thing is pushing his Lion (a little ride on thing) from place to place so he can reach stuff. He's quite good at it!

Julie

Good day, but oh so tired

The last few days have been days that remind me of the power of prayer. It's been pretty amazing. Now just to see how things play out over the next few days and months.

On the other hand, I am so, so tired! I have so much to do in the next week, I really don't know where to begin. Paul is like a little tornado and makes huge messes all the time. If you could see my living room, boy, is that embarrassing! I am just waiting for him to go to sleep so I can clean it up, do dishes and work on a few other computer related things. It's getting late though. May have to put off the computer! :)

Okay, off to go get the cookies out of the oven. It is so nice having an oven again, been way too long!

Julie

annoying

Okay, I hate service pack 2, in a way that I have never hated anything. So much so that on my last computer I uninstalled it. But it's on this computer, and I just never got rid of it, and Chip likes it, so it stays. So sp2 has this really annoying thing regarding updates, where it wants to shut down your computer, and does so on it's own. Chip has an application that can not be saved (it's on a pdf and we don't have acrobat reader so we can't save it). And you know that stupid thing wants to shut my computer down, which would mean all the incredibly long application is lost. So very annoying. Thank goodness we printed a copy earlier, but it's just a rough draft. Anyway, just annoying, and moreso because I know that I am going to have to retype all the stuff, oh, so fun. Oh, just thought, maybe this will make Chip want to delete sp2?? :)

Julie

ugg

I really need someone to talk to right now. The catholic ladies group is still not up, and I could really, really use them right now. The other stuff I'm dealing with is parenting, AP and gentle discipline related and I just don't feel I can go to my group right now because I'm in the middle of some just not fun debate. I just don't think I can go there right now.

Tomorrow's my birthday. Which always leaves me kind of lonely. I don't know why, but it does. I'm also pretty bummed because it looks like our electric box can't handle our heaters, so I don't know what we'll do to keep warm. Very frustrating. Kind of getting to that hopeless despair that tends to set in this time of year. I really thought I'd be able to get away from it for a little longer.

Need to go find something happy so I can sleep tonight.

Oh, I did get all the dishes done today, that's something good.

Julie

cute

Paul just gets cuter every day. Just a few minutes ago he came and asked for my hand, led me to the hall door and motioned for me to open it so he could go play with the kitties.

That's it for now, but it was too cute to not share. He grows up so much each day, becoming more and more complex. It's fun and scary at the same time.

Julie

elections

I am very upset with the outcome of the presidential election. I think mostly I'm upset that so many people who I know to be educated, well informed people, think he is great and wonderful. I am part of many groups for natural and ap parenting, which is about making good choices for your family, and being informed in those choices. I don't see how they can think a man who wants the government to take more control of our lives is a good thing. I just don't. I am by no means saying McCain would have been much better, they were both the same path, just McCain was a much slower ride. The government is WAY, WAY too big and has too much control over our lives and our CHOICES (and God given rights!) in how we raise our families. This is totally a wrong step. I am very scared to see where the next few years will take us. I voted for Chuck Baldwin, so I know I'm hoping for a lot here!

On the upside, the tax for 911 passed here, so Chip will have a job, very good news.

Julie

RIP Linda

Our neighbors wife passed away today. It was very sudden, he came home and found her. Chip actually took his 911 call, the first dealing with someone he knew. We are at a loss as to what to do. He can not drive, so we will offer to drive him to town, and also to bring over some meals. I hate knowing that people are heartbroken. I hate not being able to fix things like this, even though I do not know Bob well, I simply can not imagine the grieve and sadness he is feeling.

What has stuck me most is that the verse that his wife had up on her teaching profile (she was a teacher at the local Christian school), was the same one that was Chip's dad's favorite Jeremiah 29 :11-13. It totally blew my mind when I saw that.

So, if you pray, please pray for the repose of her soul.

Julie

random random

I have some mystery bug. I hope it goes away tomorrow, I hate not feeling well.

Last night, Paul slept for 15 hours, it was nice, especially since I wasn't feeling well. He didn't nap yesterday, and I guess he just really needed the sleep, plus, if I'm there, he is more likely to sleep, and I sure wasn't getting out of bed! :)

Tomorrow morning is Smokey's last pill. I'm so glad she is doing well and has recovered so well. The vet was pretty amazed too, they did not think she would recover.

I need to find a new book to read, missing having something to read. All I have right now are books that I will learn something from, and I really just want something for fun. Most of my books are packed away somewhere, and all my library books are overdue (and I'm too lazy to walk all the way up to the library to return them - maybe tomorrow :) ).

Oh, I don't know if I mentioned it, but I did finish Gone With the Wind. It was a very good book. I recommend it if you don't mind long books and sad endings. I am still having dreams about it actually (yes I know, my life is that boring that I dream about the books I'm reading so laugh if you must, but don't wake the baby! :) ).

Okay, I think I'll end my totally random post that made no sense, drink some tea and go to sleep, maybe finding some tylenol for the headache.

Julie

stupid plumbing

I'm SO incredibly sick of this stupid plumbing. I just want to flush my freaking toilet and have it actually flush. I'm so just sick of it. Maybe if the dude who owned the park actually capped off all the OPEN sewer pipes, it would work, just maybe. I just want to be able to actually use my sink, and washer and toilet, is that really such a big thing to ask?????

So very pissed right now. I actually just broke a plunger, that's how bad this stupid plumbing is (no it's not our fault in any way, there is something wrong with the sewer itself).

Julie