Sunday, November 30, 2008

reflecting

I have been working on adding pictures to my photobucket, and tagging them. It's made me kind of reflective. (here's the link to our album - http://s108.photobucket.com/albums/n3/seekingmyplace/)

The last two years have been years of so, so much change. A lot of grief. I can't even put my finger on the grief. Cats, fathers, grandma's, neighbors, and that's just the people/pets we loved. Add in losing everything and the whole mess that was McKissock st. and our first trailer, and it's just been hell to put it nicely. I miss some things about that time though, like a clean house. Before things got bad at McKissock, it was a lovely house, I still really miss that house. There is something about a house that is so nice that I can't really describe after having lived in a trailer. Though we have been lucky with the trailers, as they both have real floors, not that particle board stuff. Anyway. I miss the simpleness of that time before things got bad. Though, I'm sure I'm glossing over things, as life is pretty simple now, though also, way more challenging. No longer can I just clean all day and be productive. I have Paul who needs me, a LOT these days.

Okay, not really sure where this is going, it's just interesting to see how life changes, and to see where we are now, versus where we were then. Lots is better, though more stressful, but I think before I wasn't paying attention to things that needed attention - which is what got us in trouble! I just really hope that we don't look back at the coming year the way we look back at the last few. We need a year of happiness, not another of grief. There are so many great possibilities for us that will come to a head in the coming year, I just hope there is no more death. I am so done with death, and loss and failing.

Off to bed I go, do check out the pictures, I added a few more than I posted here.

Julie

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